


Good News for All You Murder Fans

by Inkyrius



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Banter, Fluff, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-13 22:13:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13580016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkyrius/pseuds/Inkyrius
Summary: Kaito was pretty sure that, for most people, finding a dead body would mean the date was ruined. But then, he’d always known that neither his girlfriend nor his boyfriend was quite normal.





	Good News for All You Murder Fans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [graveExcitement (arachnids)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arachnids/gifts).



Kaito was pretty sure that, for most people, finding a dead body would mean the date was ruined. But then, he’d always known that neither his girlfriend nor his boyfriend was quite normal.

To be fair to them, there had been some screaming at first. The fact that it was mostly Kaito’s was irrelevant. Maki and Shuichi had both reacted with the reasonable amount of shock and horror.

But despite Shuichi’s protests to the contrary, he was a detective through and through. So once he’d gotten past the initial freak-out, he leaned down and began investigating the body. Maki stood at his side providing helpful information about possible causes of death and less helpful feedback about what a sloppy job the killer had done in dumping the body in a random park for anyone to find.

Kaito cleared his throat. “So, uh, were either of you planning to call the police?”

Shuichi and Maki looked up simultaneously. Shuichi looked contrite, while Maki was just resigned. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Normally, my investigations only start after the police have arrived, so… I guess it slipped my mind.” Shuichi smiled weakly.

“And if I’m interacting with the police, something has gone horribly wrong.” Kaito was pretty sure that Maki’s glare wasn’t actually directed at him, but it was still intimidating.

Fortunately, he was used to it, so he just laughed. “Not a problem! That’s what I’m here for.” He pulled out his cell phone and made the call.

Shuichi and Maki went back to whatever they were doing with the body. Kaito watched them as he answered the operator’s questions, trying not to sound too amused. Most people were probably more freaked out by finding a body, and he didn’t want to make himself a suspect by being too blasé about it. The actual explanation, that he was enjoying watching his partners poking around the crime scene, wasn’t much better.

He gave his last answer and shut his phone with a decisive snap. “Okay, the police are on their way. Have you found anything exciting?”

“A man is dead, Kaito.” Shuichi looked back down at the body. “But yes. It looks like he may have been killed using a rare and expensive poison. I’ve never seen the effects in person, but the state of the body is consistent with the symptoms.”

“Oh,” Kaito said. “Cool. Good work, team.”

Maki snorted, but didn’t comment.

Apparently satisfied with what he’d learned from the corpse, Shuichi turned his attention to the surrounding area. Maki came over to stand by Kaito. “I don’t think we’re going to make it to the movie on time.”

Kaito checked the time. There were five minutes until the movie began. “Shit, you’re right.”

“This is what happens when we take one of your shortcuts.”

“Oh, come on. When they work, we save a lot of time!”

“And when they don’t, we find dead bodies. Or we get lost. Or we spend twenty minutes debating the proper pronunciation of ‘macaron’.” Maki crossed her arms. “Do you know what a shortcut is?”

Kaito made a noise of protest. “How are any of those my fault?”

Maki’s reply was cut off by the arrival of the police. It was just as well. She would probably have said something else witty and cutting, and Kaito would be forced to concede. This was what he got for dating someone so intelligent and generally amazing.

When it was clear that Shuichi had things under control, Kaito tapped Maki’s shoulder. “Hey, if you don’t need me for anything, I’ll be right back.”

Maki gave him a confused look. “I’m fine.”

Good enough for him. Kaito set off, back down the path they’d came from.

He returned fifteen minutes later carrying a tray of Starbucks drinks. He handed one to Maki, and caught Shuichi’s eye long enough to call him over and give him another. Then he took a loud sip of his own.

Maki eyed him for a moment. “Why?”

“I was planning to get snacks at the theatre, but that’s not happening, and you guys deserve something sugary after all this.” He shrugged. “Also I was getting thirsty.”

Maki hid her smile by taking a sip of her drink.

They stood around awhile longer, watching Shuichi explain his assessment of the case. Finally he managed to get free. “I’ve told them everything I know, and they say they may want me to keep investigating, but we’re free to go for now.”

“Wait, they don’t want us to make a statement or anything?” Kaito asked.

“There has to be some benefit to being called the Ultimate Detective.” Shuichi’s expression was a strange mixture of embarrassment and satisfaction. “Unless they have some reason to believe I’m lying, they’ll probably accept my story without bothering either of you.”

“Good.” Maki turned and began to walk away. “Thank you,” she added quietly, not turning back.

Kaito grinned and ran to catch up to her. Shuichi trailed after him. Admittedly, this hadn’t been what he had in mind when they’d set out, but all in all Kaito was pretty pleased with how things had gone.

Not that that would stop him from suggesting they pirate the movie later that afternoon.


End file.
